I have finally invested in some German classes (High German, not schweizerdeutsch).
These ridiculous photos are the well designed logos of the course provider I have chosen called Flying Teachers. They charge 400 CHF a month (ridiculously cheap for Switzerland) and I will take the classes in Zürich every day after work until 8:30pm for the entire month of April.
Intensive? yes.
But hopefully afterwards I won't be such a stuttering idiot when the grocery store cashier tells me something.